Today is a sad day for me. Lots of things are going through my mind, like a tornado:
The den is empty now...
I feel terribly guilty, because I didn't want they HAVE to go away... I am going to miss all the chit-chat with Alex when he hung up with his friends and they were playing with his band of rock. Songs that he sang for me; songs that I love and made me dance while I was sewing. Also will miss my sister coming from Bloomingdale's and preparing all kind of papers for the bridal's department and talking and worrying to meet the plans and budgets she has been given (she's the manager).
And I say to myself; Patricia, are you dumb? You are preparing everything to get the design studio of your dreams and you feel guilty? I try to cancel the word sad from my mind every time it appears. But like every other human being, some days I wake up like... down.
This is how I feel now: sad, guilty... I look at the rooms now and all I can see is emptiness. Yesterday was joy and happiness because we decided with Walter to make it now, because we are in between collections and shows. But today is loneliness.
And I miss my mom... she's the best. Did I tell you that she's coming next month? I'll feel better when she's here with me. I will call her tomorrow to see how she did with the doctor.
Tomorrow I'm sure I'll feel much better (will have to start to get used to all this space for me alone). Many decisions have to be made in the morning, many plans. Shopping for furniture, floors (in the afternoon the come to install it). Colors for paint, and... the inspiration board! In fact, now that I'm writing this I'm starting to feel a bit better. This thing of talking to you through my blog is such a nice feeling and your comments will make me feel better too.
I have so many things to plan...
Planning for the future, always planning nice and better things...